I hate it when a lot of people know about a mistake I made.
Especially if it is something I haven't even forgiven myself for yet.
The biggest mistake I made this past summer wasn't what you think of when you hear the word, "mistake". I didn't get drunk or have sex or do anything "wrong" in the eyes of the church.
All I did was forget what God had shown me.
He showed me what He had planned for me, and told me to wait for it, but I went against that. Even though everything in me was screaming at me to wait on the Lord, I let all of my mixed emotions control me. In a time of challenging transitions, I so desperately wanted something here on earth to cling to, and Satan put it right into my hands.
This is my biggest struggle--forgiving myself for making that mistake. My heart cannot fully be at peace until I confess my sins, place everything entirely into God's hands, and recieve His forgiveness. It sounds so simple, and it always has been in the past, but I just feel like it's too much for God to work through. I feel like God placed this amazing blessing and opportunity in front of me, and I blew it.
I have to believe that God still wants what is best for me. I have to believe that God is the God of the universe, and that if He gives the birds of the air and the fish in the sea a future and a home, how much more will He provide for me? I am His daughter, and even though I was so foolish, He still looks on me with love and desires the best for me.
Father, how could I have ever doubted your faithfullness? You have kept me in Your arms through all these years; why did I think you would forsake me now? You will provide for me in the future that You desire and have planned for me. Help me never to forget that we all belong to You, Father, and so to each other as well. Bring peace, Father, where there is anger and doubt. Restore my soul to be fully Yours.
Jenny
Especially if it is something I haven't even forgiven myself for yet.
The biggest mistake I made this past summer wasn't what you think of when you hear the word, "mistake". I didn't get drunk or have sex or do anything "wrong" in the eyes of the church.
All I did was forget what God had shown me.
He showed me what He had planned for me, and told me to wait for it, but I went against that. Even though everything in me was screaming at me to wait on the Lord, I let all of my mixed emotions control me. In a time of challenging transitions, I so desperately wanted something here on earth to cling to, and Satan put it right into my hands.
This is my biggest struggle--forgiving myself for making that mistake. My heart cannot fully be at peace until I confess my sins, place everything entirely into God's hands, and recieve His forgiveness. It sounds so simple, and it always has been in the past, but I just feel like it's too much for God to work through. I feel like God placed this amazing blessing and opportunity in front of me, and I blew it.
I have to believe that God still wants what is best for me. I have to believe that God is the God of the universe, and that if He gives the birds of the air and the fish in the sea a future and a home, how much more will He provide for me? I am His daughter, and even though I was so foolish, He still looks on me with love and desires the best for me.
Father, how could I have ever doubted your faithfullness? You have kept me in Your arms through all these years; why did I think you would forsake me now? You will provide for me in the future that You desire and have planned for me. Help me never to forget that we all belong to You, Father, and so to each other as well. Bring peace, Father, where there is anger and doubt. Restore my soul to be fully Yours.
Jenny
posted by My_Doxology at 1:06 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, it's interesting how Satan can tempt us with something that we are already promised to have... and those things are only wrong if in the wrong timing. God is definitely BIG on timing. I mean, that's how Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness, yes? Jesus was promised the whole earth as his kingndom, but Satan tempts him with it anyway because it wasn't the right "time" for Jesus to have it...
Grace is so sweet, but somehow so hard. To think that we are able to recieve something that we don't deserve at all. God blesses us inspite of ourselves. And it's so humbling. Why do we think that we have to be perfect before we come to God? God sent His Son because we wern't perfect so don't beat yourself up because you arn't, Jenny. God can use mistakes just as much as He can use anything else.
-Emily
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